Moving On!

Well here we are almost a week after my dad's funeral. I cannot believe all that has taken place in my heart and in my mind. First things first! I cannot express enough thanks and LOVE to Zach. He has been my ROCK through all of this. What an amazing person he is. Staying up late with me, listening to me cry, hear me scream because I am angry..or just holding me because my heart is truly broken.

My BEST girlfriends in the world. Jill, Holly and Abby! Thank you for the phone calls, support at the viewing and not to mention the flowers! I love you girls SO much. I can't believe it has been something like 18 years and we are still going strong! The LOVE that I have felt from my ward. The cards, cookies, phone calls and HUGS...You know who you are and I LOVE YOU!

My FAMILY! I honestly have the BEST siblings in the world. Kim, Kevin, Sean, Blaine, and Jared. WOW! I don't think I can put into words how much I LOVE each one of you! Kimmy you are my only sister and best friend. I love you so much. I love being with you and feeling the love that you have for me, and especially my kids. I love that you tell me that my kids bring a smile to your face and they make you happy! I love you!

Kevin...You have been the most amazing to me through all of this! You have taken the bull by the horns and LED our family! You have been my dad always. I LOVE your big heart and the comfort that you have given me through all of this! Thank you!

Sean...you are one of a kind. It had been awhile since I had seen you! It is too bad that we had to see each other under the circumstances that took place. You are such a STRONG person. I hope that you find comfort and peace through all of this.


Blaine....I know that you have a many different feelings about what took place last week. I LOVE that you are so honest and that you are always "good" with what is going on. You have always been around for great advice and comfort! I love that you have a NO DRAMA policy!

Jared...You and I have always been here for one another...you have stepped up to the plate once again. I LOVE that you speak what is on your mind. You did a GREAT job at the funeral. You are a solid example to me!

My Mom....where to even start. I hope that you can find a WHOLE heart finally. You deserve to be FREE more than any other person that I know. You have been a wonderful role model to me. We share a close relationship and I am so thankful that you are here. You have always been here and you did this one on your own. You should be PROUD of yourself. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. I LOVE you!

My In- LAW Family! I love you all so much. You have been a GREAT support to me! Thank you for all the help that you offered through all of this. John and Sherie thank you for coming to the funeral. It meant so much to me. John....thank you for being that DAD that you are to all of us. You have always had a special place in my heart. My dad has NEVER been around in my life...you have always treated me like your own and I LOVE you so much!!

I honestly can't believe that my DAD is dead. It still seems so surreal to me. I am at peace with where he is and what is taking place. Last Saturday, I could NOT sleep for anything! I got down on my knees and "talked" to my Father in Heaven. It had been awhile. I got the most peaceful feeling in the world. I know that he is taking care of my dad. I also know that if my dad came back things would be so different. I know that he is sorry for all of the heart ache that he caused us. I am READY to forgive him and move on. The Atonement is an AMAZING tool in all of our lives. I am ready for it to be a tool in my own personal life. I LOVE my Savior SO much. I have felt SO much comfort through all of this. Life is full of challenges and trials...I feel like I have had my fair share, but I also know that the Lord does not give us what we cannot handle. I am THANKFUL for my challenges and trials....they have made me who I am!