Sunday, July 13, 2008


Today started out a little on the rough side, Kohen has not been feeling to well the last day or so. I was thinking to myself here we go again. Feeling a little angry inside, I just got my kids better, I cannot miss one more day of work...what am I going to do. Getting more and more FrusTerAted as the time goes on, trying to do everything that I can to make him feel better, get myself ready for work, and get Addison ready for Church. To be Honest, I wanted to throw the towell in. I just didn't have the energy to deal with a sick whinny 2 year old at 6:30 this morning. Anyway, we managed to get through it. Grandma Brockman came to take care of Kohen and I took Addi to Kristen's for the day. On my way to work I always give Zach a call check in with him, listen to the radio..usually stop and get a COKe, but today was a little different. I just wanted to get to work and get home.

I get to work to find a LONG list of patients that I need to see and 90% of them are Spanish speaking. Something that I was not in the mood for today. I go see all of the Spanish speaking patients first to get that over with. I REALLY am grateful that I am fluent in Spanish, but sometimes I just don't want to put in the extra effort...I KNOW. What a BRAT!!! 10:20 Rolls around and I am ALMOST done seeing every single patient...mmm I thought...Sacrament starts in 5 minutes and it is only 30 minutes long. I am going to go.

I start walking toward the Hope Chapel at the U of U thinking to myself, I wonder how my kids are doing...all of the things that I am going to have to do when I get home, already feeling SO tired. I find myself sitting next to 2 AIRMED nurses and recognized a sweet family in front of me that had a VERY premature baby.....Knowing what that is like, I felt tears swelling in my eyes. Wondering how my sweet babies are doing. Having sympathy for that sweet mom.

We opened with a Wonderful prayer and Hymn that I feel was just for me...The first line hit me like a ton of Bricks.....BE STILL MY SOUL...

1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.Leave to thy God to order and provide;In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly FriendThru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertakeTo guide the future as he has the past.Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;All now mysterious shall be bright at last.Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still knowHis voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning onWhen we shall be forever with the Lord,When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

WOW! How the spirit touched me. I KNOW The Lord is on my side, maybe I had forgotten this morning in particular, He is with me every step of the way. I will never forget how I felt and how I have been feeling all day. As the Sacrament came to me...I took the bread and water and looked to my left and saw the most humbling thing that I have seen. A sweet youg man, maybe 20's struggling to take the bread and water. 3 people having to help him as he had a head injury, could not move his neck, and was shaking so bad, oh how blessed I am. I felt so touched and humbled. How shellfish to feel pity upon myself when I am SO healthy and able to have a family that I can take care of....most importantly to have 2 HEalThy BABIES that could have been so SICK, physically or mentally challenged.

I am SO thankful for the opportunity that I had to attend Sacrament today and to feel of the spirit SO much.

2 Love Notes:

Chelsea said...

Becky - Thank you for sharing that with us. It really touched me. I have been taking care of my sick kids the past two days and feeling a little low, too.

Kristen said...

It's good to know that everyone has those days. Hang in there 13 days to go. Your such a good MoM.